| If What They Say Is... Nothing is Forever. Then What Makes Love the Exception? |
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| 11:54pm 10/12/2004 |
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mood: Invisible music: Michael Jizzy
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Yesterday was my ONE Year anniversary at work. I've never kept a job that long. No big deal except that now I have paid vacation time. I'm so freakin excited. I get to stay home and get paid for it. I Love It!!!
I'm very into the Christmas spirit this year.. For a couple reasons: I have a lot of friends that I love and care about, and I actually have money to buy presents. I'm buying everyone a present.. even if I know they're not gonna get me anything. This one person keeps telling me.. "why are you spending so much on them, they're not gonna get you anything." Well, I don't care. It's about giving, not receiving. I don't care if I don't get anything. As long as the people are happy with what I got them. Now there's a couple people that won't give two shits if I get them something. That's different.
I'm only down like 3.. I have about 10 to 15 to go.
School is finally over. I have one more exam to take. What a relief. Now I have to apply to Universities so I can transfer next year.
My Goals:
-Get a new job
-Go skydiving after Christmas
-Shave my head after Christmas |
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| 11:43pm 10/12/2004 |
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ADD MY NEW JOURNAL:
said_theboy |
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| Tell me who I have to be to get some reciprocity |
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| 11:44pm 07/12/2004 |
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mood:  grumpy music: the voices in my head
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Hey Guys!!
FOSSE was so much fun. I think it's my favorit Beat Street show we've done. We should do more revues. Our shows our better with no acting.. lol. The best part of the whole show was when I tripped David during bows on the last night. It was priceless!!! And the best part is... that was the night we're selling the tapes of. LMAO!. I'm so proud of myself. Thank you to all of you who came to see it. I'm glad I made friends with Lauren Tepper. She's the sweetest, nicest, cutest girl ever!!! And Brendon Boutin is my new favorite Beat Streeter. CBGs 4EVER!!!!
I did Mr. Kessler's FCAT show yesterday. I don't know if any of you heard about it. It turned out better than I expected. But it still SUCKS!!! I had fun though.. due to the dancing. I was so happy that Katelynn, Debi, and Heather were a part of it. The show was so depressing and I was so happy to see them. And thank you Danielle and Lisa for coming to see it. There was an AMAZING hip hop dancer in the show.. his name is Pablo. He said that I'm a good dancer and he gave me his card so we could get in touch and dance together. But Heather and I just think he likes me. lol.. But let's hope that he really wants me for my dancing ability.
I'm starting a new journal. Amanda Weiner is designing my layout..but she's taking forever. So when she's done I'll start writing in it.. But everyone go ahead and add me now. It's " said_theboy " . PEACE OUT!!! |
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| 12:46am 03/12/2004 |
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ONE thing will make me happy right now. |
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| I'm not at all in love |
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| 12:26am 01/12/2004 |
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mood:  blah music: Wilkommen
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This is the most stressful week of my life. I just wanna shoot myself. I still haven't finished my 10 page research paper that was due LAST Monday (22nd) and I have another short paper due tomorrow for my night class that I haven't even started. And my manager at work got transfered so now we have one less person working in the bakery and there's so much more shit to do and I have to work so much more hours. Tomorrow I'm going to work 7-11 then straight to school.. then i get to come home for a couple hours then go right back to school at 6 for my night class. Then go straight to Beat Street after that for the remainder of the rehearsal. I'm doing so bad in school cuz I've had no time this whole month to get any work or studying done. Plus I have that STUPID FCAT show with Kessler's middle school kids. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! And to top it all off.. I'm having emotional stress..lol.. if that's what you wanna call it. My future is going down the drain cuz my GPA is gonna go down and no college will accept me to transfer and I'm gonna end up a bum on the street. (SIGH)
GOD please help me!!! |
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| It's My party and i'll cry if I want To |
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| 11:51pm 28/11/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished music: (silence)
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You Are the Individualist |
4
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.
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I think it's pretty accurate. You? |
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| 525,600 minutes |
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| 11:37pm 21/11/2004 |
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mood: blah music: Lauryn Hill is a GENIOUS
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Saw RENT last night. AMAZING! I never knew the show except for a couple songs. Now I love it. I wanna see it on Broadway though with the kid from Queer as Folk. I saw David Wright there. I was so happy to see him, cuz I haven't seen anyone from high school in so long. I needed that blast from the past. We bought our tickets way after him and we had way better seats. lol.. Good job Heather!
I wanna see Hairspray in January.
It is 11:52 PM and I have ONE page done of a TEN page paper due tomorrow. Go Me!
I was gonna go check out the Scion TC tomorrow, but I'm not anymore cuz I came to my senses and I realized that I can't afford it. I was just excited.
Everyone come see "Bob Fosse in Review" at the Tamarac Theatre for Performing Arts, December 3 & 4. Not sure of the times yet. 7 or 7:30pm and a Saturday matinee.
My BIRTHDAY is in a week!!!
I desperately want a new job. Anyone know where I can get one?
"I may have faith to make mountains fall, but if I lack love then I am nothing at all" |
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| Can You Keep Up? |
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| 12:56am 18/11/2004 |
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mood:  Stevie Wonder music: Isn't She Lovely...
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I debated whether or not to update cuz I don't really have anything to say, and I know it sucks to read posts with no interesting content, but I haven't updated in a while..so what the heck. I'm just gonna post random thoughts like I have been lately:
You know no one can really, truly MAKE you do anything. You may think, for example, if someone puts a gun to your head that they can make you do anything, but you're wrong. You CHOOSE to do what they tell you to do cuz you don't want them to shoot you. Every single thing you do is a choice.
Who saw "SAW" and what are your opinions on it? What a CRAZY movie. I thought it was pretty damn good.
I'm going to see RENT this weekend. Excited about that.
Beat Street is getting on my nerves. I don't wanna do it anymore. It's not fun. A lot of people left. I miss all the people that did Chicago the first time. I can't wait till Chicago is over in April. It's gonna be hell rehearsing for it. And I seriously don't think we're gonna be ready with the Fosse Review.
Did you guys hear about Young Buck? There's a warrant out for him. He stabbed some guy that was fighting Dr. Dre at the VIBE Awards.
I love LiveJournal, but the only thing I don't like about it is that you can't talk about other people. You CAN.. but when you just wanna vent about your friends... you can't say anything bad about them cuz then they'll read it and get mad.
When's the next Cappie show everyone's gonna go see?
Those are all my thoughts for the day. I will drop off some more another time. Have a good night and a Merry Christmas...
Ooh.. forgot one... My birthday is in 10 days. |
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| I will not allow anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me |
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| 11:11pm 09/11/2004 |
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mood:  sleepy music: MAXWELL
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WOW.. I won't even go there.
I love Steam Heat. I can do that dance over and over and over and over and over and over........ and over and over again.
TWO DOLLARS and FIFTEEN CENTS for a GALLON OF GAS? THAT'S FUCKIN RIDICULOUS!!!
I don't really have anything to say... I just kinda wanted to post this song I wrote. It kinda sucks... I'm not too happy with it, but it's inspired by true feelings. Why I chose to post this one.. I don't know:
More Than Ever
You treated me so right
But yet I’ve never felt so wrong
For giving you false love
And leading you on
But I can’t blame myself for not know what I want
Only time can tell what the heart really wants
I can apologize a million times and it won’t change your mind
One more sorry won’t make you mine
CHORUS:
Now that you’re gone, I want you more than ever
The way love works is so hard to believe
I know in my heart I’ll feel this way forever
Resenting the day you got over me
I didn’t want you when we were together
And now that you’re gone, I want you more than ever
I can see clearly now, the skies have cleared to blue
And any fool can see how much I love you
And it hurts me the most just to know
That I had you once and I let you go
Now all I know is the agony of defeat
If only I could turn back time
My heart would know the thrill of victory
Now all I can do is cry, cry, cry
I don’t know why, why, why
Now all I can do is cry, cry, cry
God, please tell me why, why, why
I need to take piano lessons... that way I can write the music to my songs. Cuz just reading the lyrics doesn't give the complete feel of the song. The music and vocals is what makes the song. |
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| I got (click) (click) (tssss) Steam Heat |
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| 10:19pm 08/11/2004 |
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mood: blah music: Groove Theory
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It's been too long
Since you've been gone
It feels good when I'm with you
I miss you
Come back home
I need your smile
Ain't seen you in a while
I'm so alone
I miss you
Come back home
I hate when people post just random statements and you wonder if it's about you or not, and you hope that they are talking about you, cause you want them to be feeling that way about you... It kills me.
Something's wrong with the sound on my computer. It's not as loud as it used to be. I don't know what's wrong. Any suggestions Seamus?
I totally did not realize that we were doing "Cell Block Tango" in FOSSE and the show is in like 3 weeks and I am FAT. I thought I had till April till we actually did CHICAGO. There's no way I'm wearing that see-through shirt in the shape I'm in. I've gained a lot of weight since we did CHICAGO the first time. Man, I'm definately gonna be hitting the gym hardcore (or so I say).
I went to Borders to get the "SMILE" CD and they didn't have it. I was disappointed. I really like that show and I think Beat Street should do it. But I don't think we have enough people... whatever.
(Another SUCKY post...) |
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| Back by Popular Demand... |
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| 01:04am 06/11/2004 |
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mood: Wicked music: The Wizard and I
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WooHoo!!!
4 more years of soldiers dying in Iraq for no reason.
4 more years of tax cuts for the rich.
4 more years of high unemployment.
Isn't it GREAT?!?!
This was my first time voting and I was very excited and proud of myself. I was dissapointed to find out that Bush won.. but I'm happy to know that Kerry atleast won Dade, Broward, and Monroe counties.
Freakin OHIO!
I saw LADDER 49 tonight. It was very sad. I felt like balling, but I didn't. But I did almost shed a tear.
Heff and I are going to see RENT. YAY!!! Wish we were going to see it on Broadway though, but Off-Broadway is perfectly fine.
Love is the best and worst thing in the world.
My birthday's coming up, I don't know what I should do. Party?.. idk. I'm gonna be 20. Holy Crap!
Anyone wanna work in the Bakery with me? I doubt it.lol. One of the girls is pregnant and we'll be needing someone in a couple of months.
I ran out of thoughts. Well, thoughts that I feel like posting atleast. See Yallz later! |
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| Who's gonna recue us from ourselves... ? |
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| 10:46pm 31/10/2004 |
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mood:  frustrated music: A Keys
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It's hard for me to see myself or others in a long term relationship. I mean...that's what I really want, but I'm scared of getting really attached then losing that person. Cuz you know how you like people but then you eventually get over them. What if that happens in a relationship. And I know that's the reason for the end of a lot of marriages and relationships. It sucks. But I guess if both parties show each other love, then you won't lose interest in them. Who knows... It's a different case for everyone.
I need to get my lazy ass up and start applying to colleges and scholarships.. cuz if I get stuck here again next year I'm gonna shoot myself. A lot of people are gonna be gone and off to college and it's gonna suck. Plus, I really want to go to a major college and experience the college life. And I need to meet new people, make older friends (no offense to all my young friends), find friends that are more adventurous and daring that don't freak out when you give back a meal at a restaurant, and aren't afraid to scream "PENIS MOLE" in the mall. And besides all that.. I need to go to college and study film production or dance..which ever one I decide.. so I can start a career and not be stuck working a 9-5 my whole life. But I'm scared that I will finish college and not get any work and be stuck with a 9-5 anyway.
I thank God for changing my life cuz it used to freakin suck. I used hate my life. I thank God for sending me to Dillard cuz that changed my life. If it wasn't for Dillard I would have never opened up or came out. I would've been stuck at Springs with all my guy friends.. pretending to be someone i'm not.. miserable.. hiding who I really am..and I never would've came out. I thank God for Beat Street. I thank God for Heather, Danielle, Caitlin, Lisa, Caitlin, Seamus, Ryan, Laura,Danny, David, Amanda, Jackie, the Drapers, Erika, Charisse everyone at Beat Street, Sabrina, Corey, Brittany, Miriam, Carole, Sean, Roxanne, Christina, Amanda, Tanya, Sheena, Mark, Nikki, Jerry, everyone at Dillard, Sunny, Tony I love you even though we're not that close, everyone for being part of my happiness and giving me the best times of my life. Even though I get mad at myself sometimes for not going away to college, I thank God for the Marines cuz if it weren't for that I would've been away at college, but I so needed to stay these two years and build the strong friendship that I did with the Beat Street 7 and experience everything that I did.
But my life here is not cutting it for me. I get tired of one thing for too long. I need change. I need to be a dancer, a director, make music videos, work backstage at concerts or on broadway, work at MTV, be a VJ, be a production assistant, SOMETHING in the arts or entertainment industry. That is what will make me happy.
I wish I were straight.
I wish I was one of the guys.
I wish I had a guy best friend..that's not a flamboyant slut (Jerry... sorry, I still love).
I hate jealousy.
I hate envy.
I hate love.
I hate lust.
Thank You All for listening(reading). I love you all and good night! |
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| AnD to THiNK... |
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| 04:27am 31/10/2004 |
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mood:  blank music: Vuke la gasolina
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"I don't ever wanna feel like I did that day
So take me to the place I love
Take me all the way"
I can't believe I'm up at what would've been 5:30 before the time changed. I'm home.. I left the hotel cuz there was nowhere to sleep. And I wanted to come home and be alone anyway. You know when you just wanna be alone and think about shit. Get shit outta your head.
The party was pretty fun. Took a bunch of pictures and video taped a lot. Can't wait to see it. The costumes were awesome. I really like my Lucy costume..lol.. but I'm upset I didn't have heels, that would've completed it. I have to find some before tonight to go Trick or Treating. Lisa's fat balarina was hilarious. Lilliana was a sexy ass pirate and Toni's ass was hangin out. But anyway... there was more crying again. This time it was Flanny and Danielle, and I think Heather cried too. I cried a little bit, but not as much as last time. And Lisa cried again too. Why are we so frustrated inside that we always cry when we're drunk..Geez, what's wrong with us? I don't think I wanna get drunk again for a while, cuz this crying thing gets a little out of hand.. lol.
I'm going Trick-or-Treating tonight in the D'Oyley and Seamus's neighborhood just for the hell of it.. I'm just gonna give all my candy away cuz I do not want it.
Well.. I'll see yallz later. PEACE!!! |
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| I BeT YOU think this SONG is AbOuT YOU... Don't you, Don't you |
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| 10:53pm 28/10/2004 |
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mood: Unbreak My Heart music: Toni Braxton
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Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Unbreak my heart, Say you love me again
Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life
Uncry these tears, I cried so many nights
Unbreak my heart
Take back that sad word "good-bye"
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Unbreak my heart, Say you love me again
Undo this hurt you caused when you walked out the door
and walked out of my life
Uncry these tears, I cried so many nights
Unbreak my heart
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Unbreak my heart, oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Unbreak my heart, sweet darling
Without you I just can't go on |
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| Oh What A Night.. YOu Should Be Like Louis instead of being Like Mike |
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| 04:12pm 24/10/2004 |
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mood:  tired music: It's Electric...
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Oh Man.. What A Night.
Last night was awesome. I had a great time at Homecoming. I danced with a bunch of people I didn't even know. I got crunk with this one ghetto girl. It was pretty funny.. probably the best part of the dance. I thought the DJ sucked. She kept cutting off the songs and to make it all worse.. she cut off the last song of the night, which I thought was freakin retarded and I don't understand why she would do that.. but anyway.
The hotel party was... undescribable... it was freakin awesome. It was me, Danielle, Ryan, Heather, Lisa, Flanny, Seamus, Megan, Sarah, Conrado, Toni and Caitlin Rogers, Chris and Jen were in the other room. I had a blast. There was crying, laughing, breast showing, penis grabbing, throwing up, lots of talk about beating me, I punched the wall cuz I was pissed (for a reason I will not discuss here) and I think I broke my pinky..it still hurts. Ryan scared us all cuz he turned purple after like 2 sips of Smirnoff. Danielle took care of him the whole night. Between my laughing and crying I was video taping Seamus acting a fool. I was so happy to see Seamus drunk for the first time. He made my night. It was HILARIOUS. He spent most of the night in the bathtub. We all eventually passed out in different parts of the room by 5 or 6. We ended the escapade with breakfast at Denny's this morning.
I think I had enough fun to last me for the Halloween party next week. I can't wait to see what's gonna happen there.
Oh man... I just remembered..thank God a certain somebody didn't come to the hotel. Imagine what I would've done. You guys would've seen a nice fight. |
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| No one in this land of OZ..No Wiz that there is or was is ever gonna Bring Me Down!!! |
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| 02:59am 23/10/2004 |
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mood: La La.. La La music: Defying Gravity
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Caitlin.. I saw that special on Broadway on TV just now. Oh man... I wanna see Wicked again SOOO BAADDDDD!!!! Who wants to come? Next time I go to NY, I'm seeing Wicked and RENT.. or maybe RENT and Lion King.
Had A great night tonight. Flanny and I went to Creek's Homecoming game. Well... we stood outside of the gates watching it the last 10 minutes of the game. We were gonna buy tickets but the ticket lady said if we wait like 5 more minutes, the coach is gonna take the cash boxes and they could let us in for free. But when he did.. these 2 guys were standing at the gate.. so he closed it so no one could get in. So I guess we saved 5 bucks.
Then we all went to HOPS for dinner. The Beat STreet 7, D'Oyley parents, and Scluff and Rhea. I wasn't feeling good..and when I got my food I lost my appetite and sent my food back and everyone made such a big deal out of it. Bump that..I wasn't gonna pay $7 bucks for something I wasn't gonna eat. It's not like a took a few bites then sent it back.. I didn't even touch it.
Then Flanny, HEather, Seamus, Caitlin and I went to my park and chilled. We had some great laughs.. "Turn around.. I am".. LMAO
Then the Seamus's and Flanny left so Heff and I went to Wal-Mart, then I got the munchies so we went to the 24hr McDonalds, then we went home.. and here I am.
Tomorrow is Art in the Park.. I'm kind of excited.. but when I get there I'm gonna be reminded that we're performing on a sidewalk for stupid kids..then I won't wanna do it anymore.
But I'm very excited about homecoming. Can't wait. I'm so happy I don't work at all this weekend.. I feel so FREE!!!
I got a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I gotta wake up, get a haircut, come back home and take a shower, go to Art in the Park, go to O.P.Flea and get an earing, go to my uncle's house to wash his car so I can use it tomorrow, come home and get dressed for homecoming, pick up everyone, go to homecoming, and finally go to hotel party. Exhausting.. I'll probably pass out right when I see a bed.
Anyway... See You All Tomorrow! Or most of you... |
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| How well do You ACTUALLY know the Back of your Hand??? |
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| 11:33pm 19/10/2004 |
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mood:  groggy music: Not Your Average Joe
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I picked out my Tux today. Contrary to my desire... I ended up getting all black (black tux, black vest, & black tie) because nothing would match Danielle's dress. I was hoping to find a pink that would match her dress cuz it would've been so fun to wear pink, but of course no one had the right pink. But it's no big deal. The tux is not gonna dictate whether I have fun or not. I'll forget what I'm wearing by the time we start dancing and having fun anyway.
But I'm still FAT.. I'm gonna try and run everyday from now until homecoming and do crunches everyday. Even if I don't lose anything by then, I won't feel so fat.. so that's my goal.
I Can't Wait!!
I'm so glad that Seamus and Heather are going now, cuz we're gonna have so much fun now that 6 of the Beat Street 7 are gonna be there. And it's 2 more of my close friends that will be there. I still don't understand why you're not going CAITLIN!!! And I can't wait for the after parties. I'm So EXCITED!!!
"After the show it's the after party, and after the party it's the hotel lobby..." |
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| When the Night Falls... My Lonely Heart Calls |
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| 12:17am 18/10/2004 |
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mood: uneasy music: Clay Aiken
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Is I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait...I already am |
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lucky_lou's journal